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ELEVEN FIFTY-SIX

Scene One

The bare interview room of a secure mental hospital.

There is a table and two chairs. Nathan Protheroe sits at one of the chairs with his arms and head resting on the table. He is wearing a paper all-in-one suit. Also in the room, on a third chair, is a hospital orderly in a male nurse’s uniform. Nathan appears to be asleep.

Doctor Jessica Caulfield enters wearing the standard white coat. She has a slim folder which she puts on the table. She coughs to gain Nathan’s attention. Nothing. She glances at the nurse and shrugs. The nurse smiles. She taps quietly on the table.

Jessica: Hello. (No response. She taps louder.) Hello, Mr Protheroe. (No response. She reaches out to touch him but he sits up with a start.

Jessica steps back in shock. The nurse stands ready to spring to her defence but she waves him away.) It’s alright, alright. He made me jump. My fault, I must have startled you.

Nathan: Don’t apologise. I wake like that sometimes. Quickly. In a flash.

Jessica: My name is Jessica Caulfield. (She offers her hand.)

Nathan: (Standing and shaking her hand.) Nathan Protheroe. And this is nurse David Ellis.

Jessica: (Exchanges a smile with David.) We’ve met. As you may imagine.

Nathan: Of course. You’re colleagues. Silly of me. All three sit.

Jessica: (After a moment in which no one speaks.) Do you understand why you are here?

Nathan: The coppers can’t pin anything on me Guv.

Jessica: That sums it up I suppose.

Nathan: And they think I’m potty.

Jessica: Not so keen on that summary but… You were referred to us under the terms of the Mental Health Act

Nathan: So when can I go?

Jessica: (She opens the folder and holds up the only sheet of paper it contains.) We don’t know much about you do we? When you were arrested you were walking naked along Bayswater Road in broad daylight. The officer reports that you appeared confused and would not give your name.

Nathan: Confused, I didn’t know which bit to cover up first. But I did tell him my name. Later. In his car.

Jessica: And after two days of questioning that is still all we know about you. (Nathan nods.) Finger print and DNA checks revealed nothing criminal.

Nathan: I know. I told them that. I thought they’d let me go then.

Jessica: But you were naked.

Nathan: (Fingering his paper overall.) This ain’t the greatest cut suit I ever had but I could go shopping in it.

Jessica: But how? You obviously had no cash or credit cards. You claimed no family to go to. No house to live in. No visible means of support. That’s how the police describe a tramp or vagrant and you are obviously not that. Medical notes say you are in excellent health. Well nourished. Very healthy in fact. But the problem of how you would buy new clothes remains.

Nathan: How doesn’t matter – to you or the police. Just say the word and I’m gone. Never to be seen again.

Jessica: But first I have to establish your mental state. That’s quite a lot of work - tests, reports, meetings. It would help me enormously if you gave your home address or a person who could verify your identity. Then this would all bever and I could return to my other patients.

Nathan: So if I gave you an address you would let me walk out of this place in my paper suit?

Jessica: I should think so, once certain checks are made.

Nathan: But I might be a nutter. Would you really let a madman go free just because he tells you his address?

Jessica: Believe me, there are lots of people on the streets right now showing more signs of insanity than you. Just give us a little information about yourself and you’re on your way. That’s right David, isn’t it?

David:: That’s right.

Nathan: Tricky. I can go if I tell you but I can’t tell you.

David:: Catch twenty-two.

Nathan: Twenty-two what?

David:: You know, Catch Twenty-Two?

Nathan: Noop..

Jessica: It’s not quite a catch twenty-two. That was built around proving insanity. Here Nathan is trying to prove the opposite.

David:: It’s similar though - the point was that a man must be insane to fight in a war.

Nathan: Oh definitely.

David:: So you cannot get out of the army by claiming insanity because only a sane person would refuse to fight a war. Get it?

Nathan: Mmmm. Yeah. Got it.

David:: Catch Twenty-Two.

Jessica: Thank’s David. I think we should get on.

Nathan: (To David) I can see the irony in what you say but this is not in a Catch Twenty-Two situation.

David:: It’s similar.

Jessica: (impatiently) Thank you David.

Nathan: Is catch twenty-two part of the mental health act?

Jessica: No it’s a book.

David:: And a film. (He makes the charades mime for a film.) It’s very famous – from the 60’s I think. The title became part of the language.

Nathan: (To David.) Kushty. Do you have the book? I’d like to read it.(He makes the Charades mime for a book.)

David: I’m sure I can find a copy.

Jessica: (Firmly, to regain control.) Nathan, what sort of reading do you like?

Nathan: Mmm, lots.

Jessica: Have you read much from the sixties?

Nathan: A bit.

Jessica: But not Catch Twenty-Two.

Nathan: New to me. (To David) Don’t forget to let me have that book.

David: And I’ll see if I can get hold of the video for you.

Nathan: Thanks mate.

Jessica: Nathan, please… You are an intelligent man, well read I imagine. What’s wrong with listing a few books that you’ve enjoyed.

Nathan: How can I retain my air of mystery if I tell you everything about me

Jessica: I’m asking you to mention a few books – where’s the harm?

Nathan: Bumble, bumble.

Jessica: What do you mean by that?

Nathan: That I’m lost for words.

Jessica: Do you want to try naming your favourite authors? Nathan grins at Jessica. Okay, I accept you’re not ready to give any personal information but can you at least explain why not?

Nathan: Because that would tell you all you need to know.

Jessica: Why is that a bad thing?

Nathan: Awww – Bumble bumble

Jessica: You must see my problem. By refusing to offer proof of your identity or even explain why you can’t, we are left with just one big question mark.

Nathan: No, you’re left with an innocent man who wants a quiet life.

Jessica: Are you trying to exist outside the rat race - Is that why you don’t have any credit cards or bank accounts?

Nathan: Got no pockets.

Jessica: If we don’t have a serious exchange I can’t build a picture of your state of mind and therefore I cannot comment on your mental condition.

Nathan: But what grounds do you have for doubting my mental condition?

Jessica: Query naked in The Bayswater Road – Query missing identity.

Nathan: But I know who I am and the nakedness could have been… a practical joke. A drunken prank.

Jessica: I have concerns about your mental health considering the way you were found and our conversation so far. And I am empowered to keep you in this secure unit for up to twenty-eight days.

Nathan: Catch twenty-eight.

Jessica: If you like.

Nathan: And after twenty-eight days?

Jessica: If matters remain unresolved anything can happen. You could be held here for a very long time.

Nathan: That does pose a small problem.

Jessica: Yes?

Nathan: Do I have to stay here?

Jessica: The police may want access to you. (Pause.) What kind of problem are we talking about?

Nathan: I’m not quite sure what to tell you. Or how to present it. Let’s try multiple choice: option one - I am actually a re-incarnation of Napoleon. Bit taller but that’s down to good food and plenty of rest. You don’t look impressed. Option two - have I introduced you to my friend George? He’s had to stand all this time – perhaps we could fetch him a chair. Option three - I am a time traveller from eighteen thousand years in the future. Which explanation do you fancy?

Jessica: Which suits you best?

Nathan: I forgot option four – sanity. So, to sum up we have to choses between Napoleon, my invisible friend, time travel or plain boring sanity

Jessica: With the exception of option four they are all delusional states.

Nathan: Okay, I can see why you would think that. Granted, I am too tall for Napoleon, invisible friends take too much looking after and sanity is in doubt.

Jessica: You missed out time traveller.

Nathan: I did, didn’t I.

Jessica: What are you saying to me?

Nathan: Tricky.

Jessica: Try.

Nathan: Suppose. Just suppose, for a brief moment, I was a time traveller. (Pause) And suppose that I needed urgently to be elsewhere in two days time. How would that grab you?

Jessica: Go on.

Nathan: This is a two-way-street here buddy. I need feedback. Jessica smiles at this. What does your smile mean?

Jessica: I’m listening. (She begins taking notes.)

Nathan: You’re pretty cool, I‘ll say that for you.

Jessica: Let’s go with time traveller for the moment - why were you naked?

Nathan: Ah that’s a bit embarrassing. You see, the movement in time of material objects and human matter require very different technical approaches. There was a processing error.

David: (Laughing out loud.) I’m sorry about this. I’m not laughing at you – just…. it’s the image. The image of….(laughs again.)

Jessica: Please David.

Nathan: Somehow I didn’t expect that reaction.

David: (Recovering.) .Sorry everybody.

Nathan: Perhaps I should have gone for Napoleon.

Jessica: Carry on.

Nathan: It is a history project. I am part of a team sent to study this period of our history.

Jessica: So are you a history student?

Nathan: No, I am a historic researcher. I was a student years ago.

Jessica: Where did you study?

Nathan: You won’t be able to phone and check my identity – my university is not in this time.

Jessica: Okay, go on.

Nathan: There are many periods of history which we study in order to enlighten our own attitudes to many of the problems our society faces. For example, we have studied the United States of America as they tried to resolve their racial issues.

Jessica: Do they manage to sort it out?

Nathan: From your perspective they make loads more mistakes.

Jessica: So they don’t.

Nathan: It’s not as simple as that but our observations have helped our time avoid some of the problems.

Jessica: Okay, who sent you on this mission?

Nathan: I work in what you would call a university. We have a number of study projects running at any one time but it takes years of preparation for each mission. A big problem is language and current idiom. I specialise in your country in this time. How am I doing?

Jessica: Fine. Specifically, what are you studying on this visit?

Nathan: Ahh. A no-go area has been reached.

Jessica: Okay. Do you receive instructions while you’re here?

Nathan: If you mean do I here voices in my head telling me what to do the answer is no. We can only communicate by literally sending written messages through time. There are no voices in my head, sorry.

Jessica: Is there some kind of machine that you use to travel in time?

Nathan: This is pretty good, it’s like you believe me. There is no machine as such. We arrive through a time sector called the Continuum Vent. It is an area of physics that you guys didn’t quite get.

Jessica: So Einstein missed a beat.

Nathan: He was not wrong but he only scratched the surface. A pause while Jessica finishes a note.

Nathan: (To David.) I’m making progress – she’s writing it all down.

Jessica: This is as far as I can go today. We can meet again tomorrow at the same time. Please return to the ward and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Nathan: (Leaving with David.) Oh, is that it?

Jessica: For today. We’ve made a good start.

Nathan: Fine, then good evening Dr Caulfield.

Jessica: Good evening Nathan.

Nathan: We did alright didn’t we?

Jessica: We made progress, yes.

Nathan: Something for you to chew over tonight. Difficult telling you this stuff but I’m buggered if I don’t and buggered if I do.

David: Catch twenty-two.

Nathan: Yes David, this is a catch twenty-two. Exit David and Nathan.

Jessica collects her folder from the table, considers the conversation for a moment and then exits.

Scene Two

The interview room next day.

Jessica enters carrying the folder and followed by David.

Jessica: How is he on the ward?

David: Quite relaxed considering. Avoids conversations and doesn’t mention this time travel story. I have to say he’s not displaying any of the usual delusional characteristics.

Jessica: (Playful - mock horror.) You don’t think he’s telling the truth do you?

David: Hope not, we’ll all be out of a job.

Jessica: My guess is he’ll need treatment as an out-patient but no more than that. I’m going to recommend that he stays for observation for another week mainly so social services can find him somewhere to live for the time being. Go and get him please David. Fascinating case – if he wasn’t claiming to be a time traveller I would say he is very well adjusted.

David: The man in the street would call him bonkers.

Jessica: I don’t think I’m familiar with that diagnosis nurse Ellis – perhaps you’d care to elaborate.

David: That’s the penalty of too much education doctor, you can’t see the wood for the trees.

This extract offers nine pages out of a total of 23 pages. Please contact me if you are interested in producing Eleven Fifty Six and I will send a copy of the full script.